19 MONTHS

Heres a few photos from the past. Amanda's probably close to 19 months in some of them, Today is Amanda's 19 month Angel Day.

At 932am today it will be 19 months since our world came to a screeching halt and Amanda's life become full. I truly believe we don't start living until we reach Heaven. Earth is just a test of survival to get us into Heaven. 19 months 83 weeks......I still find it hard to grasp she is truly gone. For the longest time I kept praying Id wake from the nightmare and all would be ok. Instead its a nightmare we must live everyday. I think about Amanda when she was 19 months old. She was a totally BLAST!! Well she was always a blast, but oh was she fun as a toddler. Amanda was never a terrible 2s or a trouble teenager. She truly was just amazing all her life here on earth. Almost like she was already a Angel.Our Angel our perfect sweet loving Angel. Our whole household finds it hard to get through each day. Each of us grieving and dealing with it in a outside differnt way but each of us hurting on the inside the same way. The 18th of every month brings extra sting too our day as well as each Sunday and Monday. There seems to always be a date that makes our hearts a little heavier in someway. 2 years ago at this time Amanda was suffering and we were desperately trying to find out what was wrong. Nov. 23rd. with be the 2 year date of her dx.That will be another post. Today I have to pick myself up and make it a good day. Today we will have family over and celebrate RJs 22nd BD. We will rejoice in the fact we have him alive and well here with us. We will rejoice in the fact he is a amazing young strong man that has been there for us through this all.We will make it through the day with smiles on our faces and heavy hearts that don't show. Thats how most our days go. I feel truly blessed to have the son I do. RJ Mommy Loves You!!  I think of the cake and goodies that would have been made had Amanda been here.RJs Sissy Banda always made sure he had a awesome BD cake. She made his cake for his first BD and never stopped. She was just that amazing.I will close so now so I can get ready for RJs day. Amanda know Mommy Daddy and RJ never go a moment with out thinking about you and Love you to the moon and back a zillion times. We miss you that much as well.Always with us Sweet Princess your Always with us. Love Mommy Daddy and RJ.